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There’s a weird and largely artificial division between bisexuals and lesbians that seems to be intensifying on tumblr, and I have to say: I hate it.
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Third: The idea of gold star lesbians is a profoundly bi- and trans- phobic idea, often reducing gender to genitals and the long, shared history of queer women of all identities to a stark, artificial divide where some identities are seen as purer or more valuable than others. They’re yours, and you can share them or not, but if someone demands that you share, they’re probably not someone you should trust. You don’t owe anyone these pieces of yourself. You don’t have to explain that you like this ship because this one character reminds you a bit of yourself because you were traumatized in a vaguely similar way and now- You don’t have to justify your queerness by telling people about the best friend you had when you were twelve, and how you kissed, and she laughed and said it was good practice for when she would kiss boys and your stomach twisted and your mouth tasted like bile and she was the first and last girl you kissed, but. Refusing to justify yourself takes power away from people who would very much like to have it, people who would like to gatekeep and dictate who is permitted to speak about what topics or like what things. This makes some people uncomfortable, and to be clear, I think that that’s good: people who feel entitled to demand this information should be uncomfortable. You owe people, and especially random strangers on the internet, nothing, least of all citations to somehow prove to them that you have the right to talk about your own life. They would like you to believe that you have to prove that you’re traumatized enough to identify with this character, that you can’t sell this article about campus rape without relating it to your own sexual assault, that you can’t talk about queer issues without offering up a comprehensive history of your own experiences, and none of those things are true. The clickbait mills of the internet and the purity police of social media would like nothing more than to convince everyone that you owe these things to everyone.
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You’re not! No one-and I can’t reiterate this enough, but no one-owes you the details of their sex lives, of their trauma, or of anything about themselves that they don’t feel like sharing with you. Second: What an unbelievable question to ask someone you don’t even know! What an incomprehensibly rude thing to ask, as if you’re somehow owed information about my sexual history. I am a queer, cranky dyke who is too old for this sort of bullshit gatekeeping. Untitled Queen, honestly too many to name.So I got this ask a while ago, and I’ve been lowkey thinking about it ever since.įirst: No. In The Flesh on BBC if you need a good gay cry.
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Vincent, Carly Rae Jepsen, Lykke Li, Moderat, Years and Years, Radiohead, Jai Paul, The National, Perfume Geniusįavorite movie or TV show: A Single Man, anything by Charlie Kaufman, PT Anderson, Wes Anderson. Write and produce music, writing screenplays, brunch with Mercedes My hometown: Moraga, CA, it’s a small town outside Oakland Other places I’ve worked: The Rosemont, Sweet Science, Night of Joy And it’s a great mix of neighborhood bar and giant events
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What makes this bar great: Fantastic professional lighting and sound, a huge space with dance floor, stage, and backyard. What are my shifts: Thursday Happy Hour, Friday & Saturday nights Just recently started, it’s a fairly new queer bar/venue and if you haven’t been yet, I’m sure you will soon Brooklyn’s hottest new venue has–surprise surprise–a hot new new bar staff! Let’s meet Matthew!